On January 8, Elvis would have been 81 years old. He died on August 16, 1977 at just 42 years old. Since he didn’t arrive on the scene until the mid-50s, we’ve been celebrating Elvis Presley’s birthday in death for more years than we enjoyed him alive.
He was certainly a force in the entertainment world. I just can’t help but wonder how much joy he would have contributed to the world through his performances had he not died at such a young age.
It was reported that his doctor prescribed him 10,000 doses of narcotics, amphetamines and sedatives just in the first 8 months of 1977 before he died! He died of a massive heart attack, but pundits believe that his addictions to morphine, codeine, valium and Demerol all contributed to his heart failure.
These drugs are all pain killers of some type, and I can only imagine the pain that Elvis must have been feeling to need so much relief. And, it’s fair to assume that the pain was not only physical.
From the outside looking in, Elvis appeared to have it all: fame, money, attention, talent.
You’ve probably heard the phrase money doesn’t buy happiness.
Well, Harvard has had an ongoing study called the Harvard Grant Study, for the last 75 years interviewing the classes of 1939-1944 which was comprised of 268 men. They also interviewed 456 people from the inner city of Boston for comparison. They asked them what would bring them happiness and most stated that money and fame were their primary ambitions that would make them happy.
There are 180 people still alive in the study (most in their 90’s), and the number one ingredient that researchers found to being happy over the years was healthy relationships and the ability to not push love away. They found that strong relationships are the key predictor to life satisfaction and that Joy is connection. Read More
Elvis was surrounded by people who adored him, even worshiped him, but somehow, I believe he was still profoundly lonely. I know the feeling of being in a room full of people and still feeling alone and out of place. I lived in our home in Nashville for 5 years and I barely knew my neighbors. I believe that our culture today makes it very difficult to have strong friendships and relationships. It is so easy to cocoon ourselves and find connection with our cell phone and social media.
Researchers are learning that one cause of addiction could be the inability to establish and/or maintain healthy relationships. These skills may not have been modeled during childhood because of a lack of safety, neglect, or for some other reason. This inability to find and keep connections makes it very difficult to be happy. The substance or behavior that becomes the addiction helps relieve the pain of this loneliness.
In the song Never Again, Elvis sings
Now that I’m used to love, how can I stand alone?
Now that love has come and gone
Like the ending of a song
A song my lonely heart keeps singingWhere do I go from here? Will I get over you?
If so, next time I’ll be smart
I’ll know before I start
A heart that don’t care, don’t get broken.I hope I never ever love again anyone this much again
Never ever, never again, never again.
These lyrics speak to the dreadful loneliness that Elvis Presley may have felt. And, that loneliness is painful.
I know what it is like to feel so lonely. It wasn’t until I stopped my addictive behaviors that numbed my pain that I was willing to learn how to love and be loved in a totally new and intimate way.
Fortunately, it’s never too late to learn new strategies for living a full and fulfilling life. If you’d like to learn more about how you can do a better job of modeling healthy relationships, check out our Warning Signs book at Amazon.com.
