Question: Is sobriety a requirement for recovery?
Dr. Gala’s Response:
Sobriety is defined as not being drunk or not being addicted to intoxicating drink. As you can see, sobriety is a very narrow term that doesn’t begin to address the countless forms that addiction takes.
We can think of sobriety a bit more broadly as not engaging in addictive behavior. So, it’s fairly easy to say you’re sober if you’ve been a substance abuser and have completely abstained from using. You might say with confidence, I’m sober.
Unfortunately, addiction is not that simple. There are countless other addictions that make it much more difficult to define sobriety.
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For example, if you have an eating disorder, how can you be sober from eating? It’s not possible. We have to eat. To create a definition of sobriety in this situation requires that the eating disorder ritual be understood and defined. With this understanding, it is possible to define sobriety as arresting the ritual. You’re no longer engaging in the ritual that leads to binging and purging or some other form of consuming food in a dysfunctional way.
Sex addiction requires a similarly creative definition of sobriety. Most people do not want to abstain from sex for the rest of their lives. There are clear indicators of sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior that if eliminated would be thought of as sobriety. You can have healthy sexual relationships but will need to eliminate pornography. If masturbation is part of the addiction ritual, it would need to be eliminated as well to maintain sobriety.
And, without the computer, it would be nearly impossible to function and remain productive. Yet, computer addiction takes many forms and is always close at hand with our smart phone. If your addiction has focused around the computer, sobriety is not likely to require eliminating the use of technology. It will require some parental controls and you may need to find a sober companion to assume the role of parent.
So, while sobriety may be thought of as a requirement for addiction recovery, it’s clear that we need to re-think sobriety. In Europe, for example, completely abstaining from the addictive behavior (think alcohol consumption) is not considered a requirement for recovery. Addiction recovery focuses on learning how to moderate the behavior.
Once you’e identified and addressed what’s actually driving the addictive behavior, it is certainly possible to moderate many behaviors that had at one time been compulsive. The core wound or trauma along with other related issues have fueled the addiction. As the energy is released and healed, the fuel source is cut off.
We realize that making sobriety optional flies in the face of traditional addiction treatment. This is a great example of the fresh perspective on addiction recovery that makes RecoverYES unique.
