David Bowie’s death has launched us into a celebration of his life. It has me thinking about what made Bowie so intriguing to millions of us.
In a National Public Radio (NPR) interview with Terry Gross in 2005, Bowie shared that he is a song writer and creator much more than a performer. He said that he loves creating his shows. He appreciated testing them a few times to make sure that they worked the way he wanted them to. After performing the show a few times, he would get bored. He hated having to perform the shows repeatedly to make money.
I am one of the millions that loved David Bowie. Beyond his obvious talent, I appreciated his willingness to step into so many different personas. Ziggy Stardust was probably his most well known persona.
See the many faces of Bowie here.
Bowie had numerous public personas. He loved these roles and had great fun with them. He didn’t seem to care what people thought or said about him. This was on display for all to see with his sexuality. The roles he played included being bi-sexual, straight, gay and prolific.
Taking on a persona requires that we, in essence, put on a mask. He wore all of these masks, but seemed to know who he really was switching the masks at his discretion. At times, it appeared that he would try on a mask just to see if it represented who he wanted to present to the world at that time. He may have been asking himself. Is this most of who I am right now?
In the NPR interview, Bowie shared that he loved being the rebel. That’s what initially attracted him to rock’n roll.
He never seemed to over identify with his personas, roles or masks. He had fun with them. He would discard them and try on a new one regularly. He seemed fearless as he put himself out there.
For many that struggle with addiction, a mask has been developed to cope with the pain of not believing it’s OK to be who they really are. That mask is worn for so long that they forget who they are behind the mask.
Before my recovery from addiction, I also wore masks. I became my mask and, over time, forgot who I really was.
Several years ago, I was involved in an exercise to help us understand how the mask develops and limits us. You might want to try it yourself. You’ll need an assistant.
I remember feeling the strips covering my face, feeling them get hard and tighten. I grew hot and felt claustrophobic. When the mask was taken off, I was so relieved! I felt light and free.
It really hit me that I had acquired my personas in a similar way. Strip by strip, layer by layer.
I was the successful business man, logical and in control of his emotions. A family man with good wholesome values. Hard worker and self-disciplined with strong moral character. People looked up to me and I enjoyed being put up on a pedestal.
That was my Dr. Jekyll mask.
Mr. Hyde, however, was busy having affairs, lying, manipulating, denying, covering up, bullying. He did not care about the consequences until he would get caught.
When I was forced to face the consequences, I would go into a shame spiral. I would be filled with remorse and try to reconcile these two personas. This was impossible since I didn’t know who I was.
Early in recovery, it’s common to believe that the goal is to get and stay sober. That is a very limited viewpoint.
As recovery progresses, we come to understand that sobriety is about not doing. Recovery involves so much more than finding sobriety.
A good friend of mine, Lee McCormick, told me that if recovery is about waking up in the morning with nothing more to look forward to than not doing and not acting out, I was screwed. He believes that recovery is best served by discovering who we really are. This allows us to live life authentically and fully.
Recovery requires that we take off the mask and let people see who has been hiding behind it. And, taking a close look at what’s behind the mask starts with the one that was wearing it.
This can be quite scary. I know it was for me.
David Bowie shows us how we can choose to wear our masks. He knew who he was and enjoyed putting on these masks. They actually seemed to help him discover more about himself, to have fun and to make money! He was honest about who he really was starting with himself.
This is what recovery from addiction looks like.
For me, it’s been a process of discovering who I really am and allowing people to see my authentic self. I still use my masks, but I am aware of them now. They don’t run my life.
Bowie set the bar high. He gave us a great example of how to control the masks rather than allow the masks to control us.
To learn more about our process and recommendations for addiction recovery including how you begin to discover your authentic self, you’ll want to read our book the Insider’s Guide to Addiction Treatment. It’s available on Amazon.
