0010: Building Healthy Relationships with an Addict – Active or in Recovery
If you use shame to try to motivate your loved one to make a change, it’s going to backfire. Are you wondering if you are shaming the addict? There’s a good chances you are. It’s difficult not to when faced with the crazy thoughtless behavior that accompanies addiction. Still . . . it isn’t helping. Most of us grew up believing that shame would motivate someone to change. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In fact, it just fuels addiction … just the thing you’re hoping to stop. We need to take a different approach.
In this episode, you will:
- Communicate shamelessly with your addicted loved one
- Learn what to do when you can’t say anything nice
- Motivate your addicted loved one the RIGHT way
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Time Stamped Show Notes
You can listen to the Episode right here on the RecoverYES site Using the Player Below.
(Click the time stamp … if available … to jump directly to that point in the episode.)
- [01:50] -In this particular story that I’m going to share with you today it was reported in Tennessean which is the newspaper in Tennessee national particularly.
- [06:39] -Aware Appreciation.
- [08:53] -Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re so selfish.”? Or, “Why are you making such bad choices?” Or, “Are you blind to the damage you’re causing?”
- [09:27] -If you’re living with an addict or in some sort of close relationship with an addict it is nearly impossible to avoid shaming them.
- [16:31] -We need to demonstrate what it looks like to be loved and accepted and to not be codependent.
- [17:39] -Most Recovery Stakeholders are codependent. It comes with the territory. And, one of the main symptoms of codependence is the lack of personal boundaries.
- [18:49] -I feel the need to let her know how she has destroyed her family and children. Should I tell her how I feel?