0010: Building Healthy Relationships with an Addict – Active or in Recovery

If you use shame to try to motivate your loved one to make a change, it’s going to backfire. Are you wondering if you are shaming the addict? There’s a good chances you are. It’s difficult not to when faced with the crazy thoughtless behavior that accompanies addiction. Still . . . it isn’t helping. Most of us grew up believing that shame would motivate someone to change. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In fact, it just fuels addiction … just the thing you’re hoping to stop. We need to take a different approach.

In this episode, you will:

  • Communicate shamelessly with your addicted loved one
  • Learn what to do when you can’t say anything nice
  • Motivate your addicted loved one the RIGHT way

Time Stamped Show Notes

You can listen to the Episode right here on the RecoverYES site Using the Player Below.
(Click the time stamp … if available … to jump directly to that point in the episode.)

  • [01:50] -In this particular story that I’m going to share with you today it was reported in Tennessean which is the newspaper in Tennessee national particularly.
  • [06:39] -Aware Appreciation.
  • [08:53] -Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re so selfish.”? Or, “Why are you making such bad choices?” Or, “Are you blind to the damage you’re causing?”
  • [09:27] -If you’re living with an addict or in some sort of close relationship with an addict it is nearly impossible to avoid shaming them.
  • [16:31] -We need to demonstrate what it looks like to be loved and accepted and to not be codependent.
  • [17:39] -Most Recovery Stakeholders are codependent. It comes with the territory. And, one of the main symptoms of codependence is the lack of personal boundaries.
  • [18:49] -I feel the need to let her know how she has destroyed her family and children. Should I tell her how I feel?



About the author 

Dr. Gala Gorman

Dr. Gala Gorman holds advanced degrees in human development, is a holistic life coach, and published author of the Spiritual Approach™ series of books focused on practical spirituality. She co-founded RecoverYES to support the specific needs of people dealing with addiction.